Government Harassment

Revenue Services of British Columbia is harassing me. Their constant phone calls and threats are exasperating my already unmanageable anxiety and panic attacks. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't concentrate on anything for longer than a few minutes. And there they go again. Calling me today, telling me they will garnish my wages. I'm on disability. Receive about $900 a month in assistance in a city where the median rent for a one bedroom is more than my monthly disability cheque. And they are threatening me with garnishment of my measly $250 a month part time job.

They don't scare me. Well, now that I've taken my Ativan and can think semi-clearly, they don't ;) Now they're just pissing me off. First they sent me some documents to fill out as proof of my financial circumstances, which I did and I sent in all the supporting documents. But then they call last week to say that they received some of the documents but not some others. How the fuck is that possible. I sent it all in a single fucking envelope. And this is not even the first time I've sent them documents that they never received. And today they called me again to tell me the same thing I was told last week. I haven't sent the damn paperwork yet. Give me time, for fuck's sake. If I have to choose between paying for the postage and buying a loaf of bread, I'll fucking buy the bread. They can wait. They're the ones who lost the paperwork in the first place.

This is what they want and what they want from me is impossible. Namely, the repayment of a $16,000 student loan, which just keeps on accruing interest making it impossible for me to ever pay it off. And that's just the provincial student loan.

The federal one is about $40,000 and I will never be able to pay that back. Not least of all because I didn't finish my university education due to my disabling panic and agoraphobia and also because the government has cut me off from any further funding for the rest of my life. Basically, I'm blacklisted because I had to withdraw from school a couple of times due to my mental health issues.

My only recourse is to apply for forgiveness of the loans. Which I have done but haven't picked up the form from my doctor because I have to pay for it. So I was waiting for my paycheque which I didn't receive on time due to clerical issues. Pretty shitty luck, I know. If approved, I will never qualify for government funding again. At this point I don't give a flying fuck anymore.

If I'm not approved, then the only thing that remains is bankruptcy. I don't want to have to go through that. I can't physically or emotionally deal with that. I hope it doesn't come to that.